Feeling anxious in a meeting is very common and, while it’s a particular problem for those who struggle with social anxiety, it can affect almost anyone. Most of us will have experienced it at some point, whether it’s because we’re unsure of the ground we’re on, we’re intimidated by others, or we don’t want to rock the boat. And, of course, all this is before we get to video meetings and hybrid meetings, which have their own challenges and pitfalls.
Here are steps to take to overcome the problem.
Interrogate your anxieties
Why is it that you are nervous? Is it because you haven’t been in the job for very long? Is it because you find colleagues daunting? Is it because you don’t feel you know your subject? Make a list of reasons. Then, address them one by one. You might say to yourself, “Yes, I’m the least experienced person in the meeting, but I was hired for this position and may have a fresh perspective to offer.” Or, “I’m worried that I don’t know what to say, but I’m my team’s go-to expert on several areas.” Remember that you were invited to the meeting — and if they didn’t want you to be there, they wouldn’t have asked you to come.
Prepare in advance
One of the best ways to ensure confidence is to know your stuff. So, do your homework. Ahead of the meeting look at the agenda, ask for one if not provided, and ensure that you prepare for any topics you’re likely to be asked about. Preparing in advance means you’ll be less anxious about speaking, ready for any challenges, and more able to contribute to the general discussion. If you have a particular issue you want to raise, plan the point at which you’re going to speak and talk to any colleagues with whom you might want to coordinate beforehand.
Arrive a few minutes early
This applies to both real and virtual meetings. There’s nothing worse than walking into a room where a meeting is already underway, looking disorganised, dishevelled, and flustered. In a physical meeting, aim to be five minutes early — that way you look professional, you may be able to choose where you sit, and you’ll be cool and ready when the meeting starts. For a virtual meeting, ensure you’re in a comfortable, suitable place that’s free of distractions — and that any technology you are using works, especially if it’s new.
If it’s a hybrid meeting
These are meetings where some people are physically present and others join by video or dial in. Here, you should try to be at the physical meeting if you can. A huge amount of communication is nonverbal and, by being in the room with others, you will be privy to far richer intelligence about mood, nuance, and how what you are saying is going down. These little signs are harder to pick up via video.
Be generous to others
If you want people to be well disposed towards you in a meeting, treat them as you’d like to be treated. When they speak, look at them, lean towards them, listen, and stay engaged, rather than going through your emails on your phone or staring out the window. It’s not rocket science, but they are much more likely to support you later on if you do this.
Be generous to others when you speak, too. Rather than addressing everything you say to the chair or the most important person in the room, talk to everyone. Look for ways of including individuals — for example, you might say, “This project draws on the great work Jennifer did last year.” Do this and Jennifer will instantly be on your side.
Ask questions
One of the best ways to get used to speaking in meetings is to just ask a question. It doesn’t need to be confrontational — rather, ask someone to expand on a point or clarify something. Genuine questions tend to be appreciated, as they show that you’re interested and following what the person is saying. They’re also a great way to ease yourself into contributing to meetings.
Don’t over-speak
Nervous people often don’t know when to stop, so they rattle on long after they’ve made their point, which tends to undermine the good work they’ve done. So, if you only need to speak for a minute, speak for a minute and then stop. It’s far better to be thought of as brief and succinct than the person who talks forever. This is one of the reasons to practise what you’ll say. You’ll know the end point — and when you reach it, you stop. If people want more, they’ll ask for it.
Volunteer for a role
If you feel like an imposter in meetings, create an official reason to be there and give yourself a sense of purpose. Perhaps minutes need taking. Or an agenda needs preparing. Or a presentation needs doing. The person who does this can be you. This can start a virtuous circle where contributions and confidence feed on each other.
Follow up afterwards
An easy way to bring something positive to the next meeting is to ensure you follow up on agreed actions. Then, at the next meeting, you’ll be prepared (because you have done the task) and you’ll have a contribution, which you pretty much have to make.
Practise, practise, practise
There’s a strong element of “fake it until you make it” about speaking in public or in groups generally. The first few times you do it, it will be hard, and you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone. But slowly, as you become more practised, it starts to come naturally, and, as people react positively, you will become more confident. It’s a virtuous circle. If it helps, look up some videos of politicians speaking early on in their careers. Former US President Barack Obama, who is widely hailed as a great orator, was a lot less effortlessly fluent when he started out.
The more you participate in meetings, the more you’ll get out of them. Give it a bit of time and effort and you may actually find yourself looking forward to them.
Rhymer Rigby is an FM magazine contributor and author of The Careerist: Over 100 Ways to Get Ahead at Work. To comment on this article or to suggest an idea for another article, contact Oliver Rowe at Oliver.Rowe@aicpa-cima.com.
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Articles
“Ways to Deal With Impostor Syndrome”, FM magazine, 24 August 2023
“Essential Tips for Presentations That Inspire and Engage”, FM magazine, 12 June 2023
“How Finance Professionals Can Be More Inclusive in the Workplace”, FM magazine, 19 January 2023
